Most of these pregnancies occurred during the ships transition from Norfolk VA to Yokosuka, Japan. Perhaps many females were scared to come to a country that didn't speak the language, culture shock is crippling for some. Or maybe they truly had intentions of fulfilling their dream to start a family and become a mother. Which ever it is, females have been getting themselves in this particular situation over and over again. Personally I've watch and helped many a friend back up those 4 cubes of what is their life as they know it and leave back to the states to start a new life, one where they're not the number 1 priority anymore.
Every time this happens I talk with my dad about it. Personally I think he might think that I am having the same thoughts of these girls because his response is always the same "Now is not a good time Sam, you need a house and a more money." My moms response is similar "Build a nest first honey." This always leaves me asking... When is a "good" time to have kids?
Here is how I see the next 10-15 years of my life playing out, and surprisingly there isn't one year that looks theoretically a "good time to start a family."
From 2006-2011 I will be in the same boat I am in now: USS George Washington. Sadly I am legally bound to call that some odd tons of metal and more metal "home." Not a good place to raise a baby. However while it may be true that if I found out I was pregnant tomorrow I would be on the first plane back to San Deigo, which happens to be my real home and also the place that every girl on my boat gets sent to when they pop positive for sperm. They would give me money for an apartment and living expenses and I wouldn't have to hear those God awful words "pulling lines and raising anchor USS George Washington is expected to get underway in ___ hours." The down side to this is my boyfriend, baby's father, soon to be husband, or fiancé would be on the boat when those words were said over the 1MC. I'd be going through pregnancy all alone, and then raising a baby all on my own. Not to mention that I'd be set free of the Navy by the time "my baby" was one. Set free with no degree and no income and a one year old baby. The picture is looking very dark for something that should be such a beautiful time in ones life.
My 4 years in the navy, 2006-2011 = not a "good" time to have a baby/start a family.
On September 11, 2011 a date that is burned into my head, and just happens to be tattooed onto my left wrist, is a date that I NEVER want to forget. Its the day that my contract with the military is over. I'm free and the GI Bill is going to pay my rent, books, and college tuition for the next three years. This too seems like not a good time to have a child, what with my full time student status and part-time job to pay the side bills like a car, medical and dental coverage and anything else. 2011-2014 AKA I am now 26 or 27. Still sadly = not a "good" time to have a baby/start a family. Oh also I'm sure I would get married sometime around here, and he'd say... (the golden words) "You should enjoy your time right now sammy girl, its not going to be just you and your husband forever. Once you have the baby its all over." :) ha love you dad! haha
After college obviously comes career. So say I get my degree and become a registered nurse and find a job at a local hospital. I am now 27 years old, ew... am I supposed to tell my boss three months into the job "Hey look I know you just hired me, however I've been waiting patiently for 7 years to have a child and start a family.... so can I get paid vacation time for that or something." No matter how cool of a boss that is he will either fire you for being a moron and actually asking that stupid question out loud or fire you... so you can have you kid that you've been wanting for so long. So I work for two years minimum and now I'm thirty one. :( yet still this time in my life = not a "good" time to have a child/start a family.
** Please keep in mind that a 22 year old body is going to bounce back faster and better after a pregnancy than a 30 year olds. Not to mention that I've always wanted to be a young mom, so they know that I'm sharp and won't try to pull a fast one on me.
So now I am Samantha Aker, a college graduate, a registered nurse and 5 years of service to her country. I have many great accomplishments however I never got to do the one thing that I wanted more than anything: to have my own family. To take my daughter/son on the train from San Diego to HB to meet his grandpa so we can have a bon fire at the beach with all his aunts. Or to have my Meme see her great great great grandchild.... because I know the ol bat is pushing her numbers but I love her so much and I am so thankful that I got to know her because she's a pretty interesting old woman. My sisters will attest to that, Meme's always been there for us and I would be SO pissed off if my daughter never got to have her in her life. Everybody has their own priorities and they change from day to day but when I look back at my life I don't want my greatest accomplishment or most important event in my life to be that I made Chief...woooo. No, I want to know that myself and my "husband" put something into this world, and also they have to take care of my old ass and wheel me around and feed me pancakes. No one wants to be old and alone and not have some great history.
So after reading all that.... When do you think is a "good" time? I'm interested to hear opinions.
2 comments:
You can work through your entire pregnancy... Maternity leave is your option :)
You hit the nail on the head - everyone has their own priorities and they change every day. Do you want to be a student, or a mother? Can you do both? Are their 'mothers' in the military (I do know the answer to that question :-). Have you even met Mr Right yet? My advice...some famous military person once said 'no plan survives the first shot'. Don't lose any sleep over this - you'll do what's right when the time is right.
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