Why you no say Hi?

I Found God

All of you searching out there, you are wasting your time. I know where he is. He actually works two jobs, you know! He is a black man about 5'4' and he works for the Navy.

So last night God woke us up at 12 midnight again! Honestly what is that important?! Unless someone close to me is bleeding or seriously injured I do not want to be woken up, ever! Again we wait in the p-way, in our pah-jammies for fifteen minutes. I thought it was a good time to tell everyone that its in their best interest to re-enlist in this fine organization.

Anyways just another day of flying. Actually the last day until Guam. Which I need so bad! I need to stay in a hotel and sleep in a real bed and take a shower that isn't freezing cold or scalding hot! :) 4 days of playing football in the pool or at the beach and LOT of food! I CANT WAIT TO GET A CAMERA and upload some pictures to my blog and lots of videos. I'm so excited!

Still haven't got my Victoria's Secret Michigan sweats in the mail :( But I got all my packages from Forever21.com and I absolutely love everything. I am a good online shopper. I cant wait to spend these four days with Randy, we NEED time away from the boat! This is driving us insane.

Three weeks till we pull into Japan. I am signed up for four college courses!! Super excited about those. I am taking Beginning Japanese and English composition 1 for the first term and Public Speaking and Western Civilization 1 for the second term. I also cant wait to get A J-O-B at Starbucks. Randy thinks its a bad idea, but then I reminded him that it would be saving him money and he can always come and use the Internet while I am at work. :)

GUAM GUAM GUAAAAMM!!!!!!! Hotels beach and shopping!!!!!!!!!!!

So stoked for Christmas too. I told Randy no big presents!! Last year we spend well over $600 on gifts for each other. This year we settled on $100, because we really want to go on every snowboarding trip possible! <3 All the winter MWR trips come out November 1st. I cant wait.

Much Love

Keeping HB while @ Cleaning Stations aka XO's Happy Hour

So far today has been good. This morning Brem woke me up at five thirty which sucked because I didn't go to bed until at least two. But we did laundry and I met Randy like I do every morning for some breakfast. I was being a little mean to him this morning. I think it was just because of my lack of sleep. But I said sorry later on in the morning. So after I ate folded my laundry and made my rack up again with my clean comforter and sheets. :) Then we did cleaning stations.

For cleaning stations everyone always brings up their computers to their p-ways to play music, or they listen to their I pod. I think I am the only one on that entire ship that watched a surf movie during cleaning stations. It was Drive Thru South America. It's probably one of the funniest movies ever! But the music is always good and it was made when I was like freshman. AND NO LANCE... This is my copy of Drive Thru!!! I swear I ordered it off of wetsand.com and had it sent to my house in VA! There is this part on it where they decided to take the quads Honda gave them and do tow in surfing!! LMAO (I was in my p-way just laughing SO hard all by myself) in two feet of water! It works, which is funny! Its cool to watch that one because they went to the two places I went in South America. They went to see the Big Jesus and so did I. Too bad it wasn't a surf trip! :) I just remember watching that movie like freshman and sophomore year thinking I'll never, in my life, ever be there...seeing that. CRAZY!

Then after cleaning stations Brem and I were eating candy that Smeads wife sent. She made like 80 Halloween goody bags and sent them in a care package. I got one for me and one for Randy. But anyways mine had a thing of fake blood in it. lol, sooooooo I thought it would be funny to freak some of the girls out in my berthing. I squirted in into my mouth and let it get all over my teeth and then let it run down off my mouth to my hands so that I was holding a pool of "blood" Then Brem was like OMG Thompson!! Aker just hit her tooth on her rack... and I ran out with the blood everywhere.IT WAS fuuuunnnnaaaaaaaaay. There was this girl in our berthing who just happened to be from medical, I guess she was there testing the water or something, she was like OMG is this a real medical emergency? We were like NO NO DONT CALL AWAY MEDICAL EMERGENCY. lol because the whole ship hears it and its kind of a big deal.

Then Brem bought me a kit-kat, and here I am in the library. Just emailing Randy and my dad back, and reading Kristien's blog about her cat. lol

Speaking of cats, Poor Randy. I'm in like the middle of the ship and the cats (the ones that launch aircraft) are SO LOUD. They're like right above his rack. He says when people throw chalks on the flight deck he can hear that too. A cat launching sounds like a 50 foot tall 4 feet wide cement wall going 130MPH then banging into a metal wall. Then there's the retract. Which sounds like a 4 inch thick wire being pulled through a metal hole. Not fun! He always says he swears birds are launching out of his rack.

just trucking along

Another day, another dollar. Just working and flying a lot lately. Everything is calming down. No one has talked to Jessica since it happened. She has no friends. Boo-hoo. No one will talk to her. I think I am going to move out of my cube. It’s bad for me to have all this hate in myself. I just need to not see her everyday because I want to take her head and smash it into the locker every morning.

Ironically my dad came out of me a little. I told Brem things that he tells me when stuff goes south. I told her that The sun will rise again tomorrow and this too shall pass. Which is true, she’s kind turned upside down and plans are up in the air again. She’ll be fine thought she is probably one of the strongest people I know. Besides me…and my mom. Lol

Dad + the rest of Seabird Cr.: Benny keeps asking “How’s the fam?” I just wanted to let everyone know. Haha I totally forgot that he came home with me and that whole weekend, US open and all. That was a fun summer. O I decided that with the sand you sent me in my care package I am going to put it in a vase and put some fake flower in it for our barracks room!!! I cant wait to get home to Yoko and wear all my winter cloths that I got while we were out to sea.

BTW Randy and I had another good morning. I’m a little surprised because I DID NOT want to get out of my rack this morning. I layed in my rack and folded my blanket and took of my jimmies. Then I got my cammies from the rack above me and slid into them…and my shoes all in one motion as I got out of my rack. But we are cereal together! It was nice. We have this spot on the ship where we’ll leave notes for eachother since we miss eachother because of work and cant call after taps. I always leave like three page notes (My writing is big :) and He’ll leave me something like “Smile baby I love you forever and ever.” That’s it. Haha my notes are like “My day was…”

Well I have to get going. Coming home soon Kristin!! After this port you only have three weeks till you see him :)

Let God Take Care of It

Last night was horrble. I hate seeing my freidns cry. I went and found Jessica since she hadnt come to the berthing yet. She was in the library. I dont think I have ever been so upset before. I wanted to knock her teeth out so bad. She was sitting at the computer just typing away and I came in and was like WHO ARE YOU?! Do you know where "Hannah" is right now. She actually tried to ignore me and type so I threw her kyboard and was like screamed at her some more.



She discust me! She is so poor morally. I feel bad for her son, and he sorry aimless life.



There is nothing I can do. Hannah and I just ignore her. Jessica has not one friend on this ship. What a looser. I'll let God take care of her. I'm sure he'd do a better job and not throw keyboards and get escorted out of the library.



As far as the non drama side in my life. Today is a no fly day. There are seven days till Guam. Thats it. I shouldn't even be blogging right now. I'm so worn out.



Stay out of the Navy people. Don't subject yourself to this standart of life and I know you don't want to surround yourself with people like Jessica.



Work: Its going better. My chain of command is starting to realize what I am capable of workwise and I am getting assigned more tasks. I am also bring up good topics with creative ways to get them out to people and they appreciate that. So I'm excited about finding my niche in the Navy. I'm glad this is taking a new direction for me. Finally somthing that I can actually do my best at and care about.



I have to go my Dumb petty officer is here.

you dont know white trash or how low people can go till you join the navy

Where to start...

I have a person in a level of authority in my division. We'll call her Jessica. Jessica gets caught screwing someone while we are underway and goes to Mast. Since Jessica has a husband and a 4 year old son back home Jessica is put on restriction, however she does not loose her position of authority because the CO feels bad for her because she has a son and she needs the petty officer pay to support her family.

Low? haha no its gets way lower.

Next we hit San Diego in early June. By this time Jessica already has a new boyfriend. The divorce papers aren't even filed yet. Her boyfriend who we shall call Ted is very gross and he is missing two teeth in the front. Yet Jessica claims she loves Ted after two weeks. Keep in mind Ted is not the person who Jessica got caught cheating on her husband with. Different guy. Ps Ted is no longer on the ship because he tried to commit suicide.

Also while in San Diego Jessica decides to "screw" a fellow person of high authority in her very own division. Big no-no, because A. No divisional relationships, and B. Both Jessica and Bob (that's what we call him) are both in high authority positions. PS. Bob has a wife and a cute little Asian baby in Japan. Shes so adorable, Ive seen her!! :)

Low? NOPE GETS SO MUCH LOWER

I know what your thinking HOW does Jessica sleep at night.

Also in San Diego Jessica "screwed" (she does a lot of that) yet a different guy named Tom. Only this guy engaged Jessica's friend/mentor. Tom has a fiance named Hannah. Hannah works for Jessica...and she confides in her about everything. So TWO months later all this comes out.

Needless to say my best friend Hannah's world is turned upside down and EVERYONE in the female berthing wants Jessica to die!

Now that's LOW!

Ps I sleep across from Jessica!! I cant wait till I see her for the first time. oh and Jessica's loon of a boyfriend doesn't know about Tom!!! Well he didn't until i emailed him and told him.


THIS IS THE WORLD I LIVE IN! I hate the navy, I wish I didn't have to associate myself with such low moral white trash, nay work for them. I'm suppose to look up to this chick? You have lost your mind!!

just AMAZING!

Hi. Sorry I haven't been keeping up with this for a couple of days, I have been super busy at work and everything that's going. There is this cycle that I always go through when we are underway. It starts with everything being okay, then work starts to get on my nerves and the fact that there is no time to be alone and no personal space starts to annoy me. Then I start to miss regular food and snuggling with Randy and everything just plummets from there.

Well that stage already happened. Notice all the hostile blogs. Now its all clockwork. I'm training for my tower operator right now. They told me that I have to have that done by the time we pull back into Yoko. I'm thinking maybe a couple of days after we pull out of Guam. Then I am going to "snype" them and get my Tower Supervisor (which is the highest and last qual) before we pull back into Yoko. But right now I am doing so well.

Things with Randy are amazing. I'm finally starting to trust him again, for real this time. We are always good...our fights don't last more than a couple of hours and never carry on to the next day. But we haven't fought for a while now and the last few days have been just amazing.! We have been having breakfast together like we do everyday and we're getting back to how we were before the downfall last...umm hm well actually around this time last year is when it happened. Weird...took me almost exactly a year to get over something. Whatev Randy has worked SO hard. He seriously AMAZES me everyday! okay now that I've said amazing about 30 times...

I have to go get supplies. Then go to stupid aware class and then I have to come up to the tower. Before I know it, it will be 11pm and flights ops will be over and it will be time to get into beddie bye and do it all over again.

not that bad. Like I said clockwork. But when I'm actually at work I'm having fun now. I dont mind the tower. But when I'm not at work, well that's a different story. That's all kind of an oxymoron because technically I'm always at work.

I got my Forever21 last night!!! Yay, new scarf, boots, sweater dress, turtle neck, panda bear shirt! and belt and accessories! Two more to go! VC and FR21!

<3

Snyped!!!!!!!!!

UM Mom where are you?!?! I haven't heard from you in too long! You are getting a nastygram soon. I miss you!!! Maybe I will just call you.

So anyways I am getting snipped hardcore. I'm pretty sure that I explained the MWR concept in past blogs and how interested I am in it. So yet another MWR meeting that Kyle ditched me on. First meeting he tells me the time, but doesn't tell me where. So I'm waiting in the office for him, no Kyle. Today again I missed a meeting. I heard about it from Bremerman. I saw Kyle in the office and was like "How was the meeting that you snyped me out of?" He was like it was good, it was all about planning for the Christmas party! I was like " Wow! Cool, why didn't I hear about it?" Bottom line he told me I am not mature enough to be the MWR Representative.

So you know what I did. I went down the MWR and talked to all of the TAD people there. I told them to email me when anything MWR related comes up. I also asked for point of contact of their chain of command, got their numbers and the best time to contact them. That little Kyle thinks that I am not mature enough to do a job that I know that I can do 199% better than he can...because it was real mature of him to ditch me twice. Good watch team back up.

Speaking of which...

This morning I'm in the p-way of the air office and I see Randy walking down the hall and he looks really mad. I was like I would love to talk now but I'm supposed to be waiting at attention for Petty Office Sal because I left cleaning stations early to go sign up for laundry...

*oh side not. Cleaning stations is from 0730-0830. Sign up's for Laundry start at 0830. By eight there is already twenty five people in the p-way waiting to sign up for laundry!! By the time your allowed to leave cleaning stations (0830) and go down to sign up there will be easily 100-200 people in line to make an appointment for laundry. You catch my drift, right? Navy has the most effective ways of running business.

He was like well we need to talk. Basically he said that my headhancho is emailing his senior.... and I'm thinking, this cant be good. So we'll see when he wakes up tonight. Bottom line...I got my name on the list for laundry. At 0530 tomorrow morning to do laundry and I HAD (past tense) a 500 word essay on displaying good watch team back up.

I already wrote it and don't worry its not a smart ass essay. I learned my lesson about 9 essays ago that if you write a "read between the lines AKA read between my three fingers" essay they will make you write it again and again, until you get it right. But this essay was good, I made sure to get a quote in from Captain Select Brad Brown, Air Boss on the USS George Washington on what watch team backup means to him personally.

Navy Navy Navy. I'm a little blind with anger about this one. The third class that tattled on me leaves cleaning stations early every day!!!!!! EVERY DAY! I don't say anything because I'm not a cry baby. I pick up the slack, clean and move on. I pointed that out to petty officer Sal and he said this isn't about him its about you. And I said "No this is about displaying good watch team back up, something that my third class AKA Role Model doesn't do."

With that said... :)

Oh I also talked to Senior one on one and well thats a whole other story. It went well... ;) SNNNEAAKKY Ninnnnja!

know who you can trust and who you cant. Make the first list shorter than the second and you'll go as far as you want in life. <3

Hi dad!

What Do you want from me? BLOOD?

The navy is an odd corporation where they bought your life for the low low price of $400,000. Technically you are on the clock 24/7. That would make my hourly wage about $2.30! Anyways this is the only organization that actually calls you out of bed in the middle of the night to talk to you about things you already know and don't care about...let alone do a soul train line.

Let me put it in civilian terms to make it easier for you to comprehend my work day. On average everyday we wake up at six, to work at 715am. From 730-830 is your designated cleaning time for you to clean up your office regardless if its already clean from previous cleanings. After that hour you work till about five then you have the rest of the day to do what you want. You are already home showered and in your jammies when your boss calls you at 1130pm to tell you that you need to come back to work, doesn't give you a reason at all...just get in your uniform and come back. When you arrive your boss ignores you for about 10-15 minutes and then decided to talk for a half an hour about things that do not pertain to you or any of the upcoming events. Repeat daily.

Today I graduated from cream of wheat, beans and yogurt to bread and popcorn! haha Yesterday morning when I met up with Randy for breakfast I was eating some blueberry yogurt. He had a yogurt of his own as well. He saw me eating mine and decided to start on his. He opened it and look all upset. I was like Whats wrong bubb? He was like they didn't put blueberries in mine. I was like "Are you being serious? The fruit is at the bottom, you have to stir it up." Poor kid, I guess he always had the expensive kind in his house. haha

So I figured out whats going on with the month and a half late Victoria's Secret stuff!! It got sent back because my address was "undeliverable" and they didn't inform me plus they forgot to put the money back in my account. Needless to say the next package shipping and handling is on them! Its hot outside everyday and I'm getting excited to hang out at the beach in Guam!! Dad maybe I cant get your gift together and sent out. Lol.

Short Fuse

Kristen I read about your little can opener diboggle and I am here to say I feel your pain.

Hello EVERYONE! Sorry I haven’t written in forever. I got my teeth pulled on the 14th. Only one word is needed to describe that experience: miserable. The 15th was our one year Anniversary!! Randy wrote me an adorable poem and I loved it. Hands down the best gift I have ever received in my life. The day after that I had to go back to work :( That didn’t last long. Half way through cleaning stations I said NO WAY! Without permission I got back in to my jammies and took another Vicoden and next thing I knew it was 7pm. The 16th I got my package from my dad!! Such a thoughtful care package...Hold on this deserves a new paragraph.

A while ago i asked my dad to send me some stuff and I made him a short little list. Yesterday I opened my care package and I was so surprised to see every little detail on my list. Like I HATE CHEERY ANYTHING...cough syrup, cough drops and most of all Cherry Chap Stick. He got me three strawberry chap sticks. He put a surfer magazine in it, a bag of sand from my beach (I know it was from mine because it looked all dirty) He put all my foods in it and even put in this craft/scrap book thing in it!! He got me a deck of cards, some hair thingies. And I got my Victoria's Secret lotions/sprays that i had sent to his house. It was such a good care package...even though I couldn’t eat all the stuff or even smile because I was so swollen from the surgery.

Let me tell you what I’ve been through. After I got my teeth pulled, and all I want to do is sleep they decided that I need to go back to medical to get my anthrax shot. The line for that was out of control because everyone on the ship needs to get it done. By the time I get down there, keep in mind I'm still all drugged up, I decided to cut the entire line. I get poked for the third time that day...(Once for my IV in my hand that he missed by the way, second in my inner arm elbow and third time was when the navy wanted to pump some lethal anthrax into my system.)

Not many people outside the navy knows but that shot sings for a while after you get it. Then you get a knot in your arm where they poked you and it hurts for about a week.

Keeping all this in mind plus the fact that the only thing I’ve been eating for the past four days is yogurt here comes the most recent story.

So I’m in the tower and I’m at the end of my rope, I’m being all bossy and grumpy because I can feel my heart beat in my teeth and everyone in the navy is naturally slow. All I want to do is eat. I have a can of pork and beans. The kind that is not the pop off top, and of course no can opener. I am so hungry for anything that is soft and not yogurt. I tried everything under the sun you could find in the tower. I called other people who work in the island and they didn’t have one either. I almost gave up, but I didn’t. I looked under the couch where we keep all the tools and I found a new never used paint scrapper. I went to town on the can, finally got it opened and had a nice lunch. Yay for me!

People Make Fun of My Pep

There must be something in my tone that people like to repeate. Anytime I make a call in the tower someone in the backround, be it a pri fly person, a pilot, or someone from VLA they have to mock me!!!! What the heck. I'm especially famous shipwide for the way I say "Heads up on the bow, advancing shuttle cat 2. Stand well clear." After I make those calls on the 5MC to the entire flight deck everyone is like Aker I heard you up there, STAND WELL CLEAR!! People notice when I havent been doing it too. Like when I was in the library people would come up to me and be like I havent heard you in a while. I feel bad for Randy though. Because I know everytime I come on the MC's his friends are like "Thats Sam That's Sam!!!" You know I love it!

Anyways tomorrow is the big day!! Loosing all four of my wisdom teeht :( Its sad to say good-bye to my poor teeth. I went to sick call this morning, for my soar throat. I think I was subliminally trying to get out of getting my teeth pulled. Whatever

Other than that nothing is going, I wont be blogging for three days because I will be SIQ (sick in quarters) AKA in my rack for the next three days all drugged up watching The Bee Movie and Wall E!! I'm so scared I'm going to die. This girl who used to be in my division got her teeth pulled. Something happened and her throat closed up and she stopped breathing and she had to be rushed to the hospital. But I told the girls in my berthing to come check on me and make sure I'm breathing and that I take my pills. I'm not worried. They always take care of me when I need it. Brem will probably make me oatmeal and bring me and Orange in the morning for breakfast. She's so sweet. Almost every night Guid falls off my rack along with my pink baby blanket that I stole back from my mom and she always puts Guid back with me and covers me up. I love those girls.

Pray for my wee soul. And that I dont bleed onto any of my cute jammies. EW!
P.S. Mom I got that PacSun package along with my first Forever 21. It came in two weeks!! :) Still waiting on my Victoria's Secret that I ordered on the 15th of September. So thats four out of 7. Still waiting on VC, my daddy's package!! and one from Forever21!

LOVE YOU MISS YOU! BIG HUG

Cookie Monster and $5

So yesterday I was in the tower waiting for us to start flying and Petty officer Neal and I are coloring out of a coloring book. We start to fly so we man up and I come back from manning up and my coloring book is gone along with my markers. I asked everyone what happened? Because I was in the middle of coloring a picture of cookie monster and that was gone too. Someone said they saw this guy in my division Turner take it down. I called down to the Air Office and they said they hadn't seen him.

So I go down to the air office and there is my picture of Cookie Monster all torn up and in the trash. Also my entire coloring book was torn in half and in the trash as well. I flipped out. I called him and was like "Who do you think you are? You don't ever take people's personal property and ruin it!!" He was like your not allowed to have anything in the tower. I was like and you're the one who gets to decided how to do everything and enforce all the rules?" He hung up on me. So I went down to his berthing and was like "Look I'm trying to solve this with out any higher ups" He was just being a little brat. So I told my petty officer. He called him down to the office, things were said. This YN1 actually threw two dollar bills at me and said "Here's two dollars go buy a new coloring book." I picked up his two dollars and acted like I was going to hand it back to him and ripped them up in his face. lol

He lost it and was like "YOU DON'T EVER RIP UP A MANS MONEY." I was like Are you crazy? I you just gave me two dollars. I decided I wanted to rip up my own money. He was yelling at me and was like I'm writing you up right now. I was like Dare you!! DO IT! I would love to write some very interesting things on that counseling chit!! Then they told me to go stand at attention in the p-way. As I was walking out I ripped it again and was like "Looks like we both out just a little two dollars, and look how upset you are." Then ripped it one more time and threw it in the trash.

DRAMA OMG! Right. Well that's noting...Senior got involved. He's a screamer remember. So he told me to come inside and asked me what happened. He was like you were wrong for coloring and he was wrong as hell for taking your stuff and destroying it. He screamed at turner and told him to go clean the head (bathroom) until GQ, which was like in 5 hours. He made Turner go get $5 and give it to me and say sorry. YN1 said sorry too. He somehow said I disrespected him. I don't see how when I'm the one getting dollar bills thrown at me like I'm a cheep prostitute. I handed the five dollar bill to YN1, but he wouldn't take it.

In conclusion I have to say even though I hate on Senoir he's a good leader. At least he knows the difference between right and wrong. So Dad I am going to send you the picture of Cookie Monster that I taped back together and finished coloring and the $5. Maybe you could buy me a new coloring book with it. hahaha

See how WONDERFUL the navy is!!!?!?!

19 days till Guam

Today was like any other day. A muster these days with the new Senior take about an hour and ten minutes. They used to never last over a half an hour. I think someone likes to hear themselves talk. Once I wanted to ask a question and I got screamed at so I think its more of a just listen to everything I feel like running my mouth about thing. He usually doesn't even know what he's talking about. Poor little man. He's got the small man syndrome. I wonder if he planned on getting that way. Like he said to himself when I grow up I want every single person I work with to HATE me.

Brem and Neal and I had lunch today. Then Brem and I walked on the flight deck back to the tower. It was really windy outside and we decided to walk to the bow and try to lean into the wind and see if it can hold us up. No such luck. But it was really windy. We sat on the bow just watching the water for a while. It was nice. Then Guid and I tried to take a nap but it didn't work. I've been getting sick for the past three days. Its just a cough and soar thought. It hurts thought.

Also we got a ton of mail today. I've been waiting on a Victoria's Secret package since September 15th. Everyday I say "This is the lucky day petty officer Neal. I can feel it." I hope today really is that day.

Oh I totally forgot that while we were in Korea Randy bought about twenty high quality boot leg movies. Someone should really tell Korea that it's illegal. lol. He bought Wall E, The Bee Movie and Home alone for us for Christmas. Among other boy movies like Death Race and Hancock which are supposed to be really good.

Well Randy wakes up in three-ish hours. YAY!

Korea

Morning, It's Friday and we are about to get underway. Yesterday was the first time I got off the ship. I was so excited about going to see the aquarium but of course it never happened. I don’t know how this always happens but I never seem to make it to the zoo or anywhere with animals or wild life :(

Anyways Randy and I had an amazing day. We went shopping and I got three pairs of boots. They're so cute. I have to say Korea has the best shopping for shoes for girls. Not so much for guys but almost every store was a women’s shoe store. They're all nice too!! And best of all CHEEP! There was these pair of boots that we're a little unique because they had fur on them and I wanted them so bad. But Randy said I should spend my money other places, and since I already bought two pairs I decided he was right. But by the end of the night Randy, out of nowhere goes "Hey lets go get your boots..." So he bought my boots with the fur for me!!! Everyone at the bar LOVED them. I will not be wearing any apple bottom jeans...so don’t get any ideas. I can pull it off.

Randy bought a pair of Nike's, a shirt, a knife, and a mink blanket. I found out mink isn’t animal. I don't know for sure all my sources are bad. I need to Google it more.

We had a really good steak dinner too!!! They had this place called VIP's that was a cross between an upscale outback and soup plantation. It was so good, I got sirloin and it came on this sizzling platter thing. Then we went and got Baskin Robyn's. Surprisingly they had quite a few starbuck's and a couple American fast food places, like KFC and McDonald's.

At the end of the night we took a cab to Texas St and went out with everyone at the bar. This really drunk guy came up and put down ten 10,000 won on the table and left (and a twenty dollar bill) I gave him back his twenty and he was like keep the money. So I split it with Randy. We then continued to shop. I got a fake Burberry scarf and some goodies.

Pretty much all Korea had was shopping and this thing called Chicken on a Stick. Randy was talking to his LPO and he was like "so Cobb how'd you like that dog on a stick?" and He was just like "oh man." But I had some and I honestly think it was chicken.

Well I have to go, write more later.

An Intresting Day

Kristen don't feel bad about my boys kinda ditching bruce. Today I kinda got ditched too. Everyone is paired off, my two best friends have boyfriends that they want to be with and my third class that I was supposed to go out with today...well lets just say I'm still on the ship and its 630pm. I only ate once. I was late for chow and this guy asked the CS (culinary specialist, AKA cook) if he could hook me up too. He knew my name. Which was weird but I didn't care because I just needed food.

As I sat alone, remember I was late for chow so it was already over and everyone was gone, I realized how weird it is that you feel like you have millions of friends but come liberty everyone pairs off. I'm not mad at all. I do it too, people can't help that they'd rather be with their boyfriend/girlfriend than anyone else in the world. They always say mates before dates...well that's the most polite one I can think of. Well I might be wrong, but I think when you get married or fall in love it reverses. If you think about it people grow up, get married, have kids and friends kind of fade away. You have your husband and your kids plus your family to keep you busy.

It just sucks for me because we've been in Korea for two days and all I've seen is the city lights and a bunch of boats come in and out of the harbor. This is how it was when Randy was on liberty restriction. Even he has seen Korea before me. But it doesn't matter. I'm going to see it tomorrow. Randy and I are SO excited for the aquarium and they're fireworks tomorrow night!! :) I'd rather hang around him than anyone else...maybe my brembo, but no one else. It's slim pickins for normal sane people in the navy.

So I'm off to buy a small clutch from coach.com. The kind that go around your wrist so no one can steal your ID, liberty card or camera at a bar!

Randy's

Randy needs his own post, well he deserves more than that. But I just thought I'd let everyone know how proud of him I am and how he makes me so happy.

First off Randy has been trying really hard for a while now to quit smoking. He is now down to one... or none a night. Thanks dad for all the positive re-enforcement. I forward him every e-mail you mention him in and he appreciates it. I am just so happy that he is trying to be, umm whats the word? Smart. Its a stupid thing to smoke and I always hated that he did it.

Among other things he is always where he says he is going to be!!! Thank God because without a cell phone you just have to trust that the person your meeting up with is going to be there when they say they will. I defiantly trust his word now, after all this time.

He made friends with my ex!!! That sounds weird but I'm always cool with my old boyfriends, as long as there wasn't that much there in the first place other than a cool person and a good friend. But him not acting like a 5 year old with the dirty looks and everything MEANS SO MUCH to me.

After two years of knowing Randy I still sit back and look at him and think "I can't believe this is my boyfriend." We have come such a long way from who we used to be. We're still the same, trust me, just better in certain areas. We just keep getting better and better everyday. :) I never even thought it was possible to love someone this much. Every time I see him, or we talk I cant help but love him more. It never stops, and he amazes me everyday. As corny as it may be, I used walked around thinking I was happy and complete...but being with Randy brings everything to a whole new level. :)

dang it

My dad and I are emailing and he just told me the Angles lost. Now i can delete that whole blog or I can just laugh at what a dork I am. Obviously I didn't delete because its still there...I need a good laugh. I hate duty:(

Angles V. Boston Red Socks

Sorry Kait but I have to say it!!

MY ANGLES WON YET AGAIN!!!!

I cant help that I have an incredible team this year. They won yesterday and again today! EnFuego, kids, On Fire! Well I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure they did. I couldn't watch the game because ever since the "inappropriate relation in the tower" we aren't allowed on computer or T.V. We aren't even allowed to sit on the couch where the incident took place.

If you know our job, its long, and its awkward when we all sitting on the floor and there is an empty couch right there. Whatever. Mighty mouse. He does what he's gotta do. I'm not going to judge him. God can do that one day, when it counts.

Anyways I asked a kid if he knew the score of the game and he says to me "I don't like baseball" I was like "Well what about apple pie? Are you not American?" He was like the Angles won 6-2!!! YEAHHHHH! k gotta go!<3

Gruesome Manning the Rails

I was out there for a total of TWO hours standing at attention and at parade rest! Two hours!!!! After one you begin to loose the feeling in your feet. After an hour and a half you start to get all fidgety. By the end of the evolution every single person was either crouching, swinging their arms around, or prancing around (like me) to regain feeling in their feet! Not to mention I was in the ugliest itchiest uniform.

As far as me avoiding Randy in my dress blue uniform...Well right after they secured the event and we all cheered. I walked right back to my berthing at a fast pace with my head down trying to avoid small talk with anyone ESPECIALLY Randy. As I get to the last ladder well that goes to my berthing I see a guy standing at the bottom, and all I can see is his arms, and on the left was a rosary tattoo! I WAS SO MAD! Randy had this huge grin on his face and was like HA I got you. I was like You @$$h0L3! He was like "Don't worry bubba, I think you look beautiful." Which was nice to hear, even if it is a lie, because I KNOW I looked like a tard.

My schedule for the night: 1730-1130pm I will be held hostage in the Air Office, then from 330am-730am I will be on watch in the tower! O JOY!
Randy is supposed to bring me back food and so is my little Mexican amigo Terrones! YAY!
So I just took out trash and saw the city at night and it looked so gorgeous! I hope Randy has a good time and doesn't come back too messed up and IS on time!

Also I took a picture with the Korean Navy Officers because they were in the tower today! I cant wait to post it!
<3 Hugs (the big kind)

USS Eisenhower (IKE) lost an ABH2

I received this email yesterday but never had anytime to read it. When I opened it I found our an ABH2 had died on the IKE. He was a U/I (training) and a jet took off the cat and he didn't duck down, like they are supposed to and the jet hit him and killed him instantly.
The air boss wrote

"We are in a dangerous and unforgiving business. The consequences for not doing the basic ORM procedures in our positions of responsibility, eventually, will lead to someone getting killed. Being unaware of a hazard will not keep you safe. You have to know it exists.
NATOPS and procedures are, sadly, written in blood. Somewhere along the chain of events that allowed this accident to happen, someone did not follow procedures. This accident did not just “happen”. It may not have been the ABH2. It could have been his CO, AIR BOSS, Chief, etc. Or it could have been all of them.
We tell you everyday to be careful. Part of being careful is having the foresight to think ahead and identify a problem or hazard before it occurs. You need to be an expert on your job so that you can recognize when something isn’t quite right. A questioning attitude goes a long way to assist you in determining when something doesn’t mesh with NATOPS or established procedures. And, as always, you have to back each other up. Know the job of those that work around you. "- Captain Select Brad Brown (AKA my air boss)

As far as I know this just scares the crap out of me. The love of my life goes on that flight deck every day and does his job, I'm "safe" in the tower...but I watch Randy like a hawk when we work the same hours. (as much as I cant without miss a tension or a ball call)

The Ike's handler wrote the air boss and my air boss emailed air department. This is what the Ike's handler said

"We lost ABH2 R (Asst. Fly 3 PO) last night while back a U/I on cat 4. We shot cat 3 then they went 4. He was hit by the plane on 4 and DOA on the scene. Don’t know why he didn’t crouch down like the U/I did or step back. The shirts did what AB’s do the best……we got back into flying today and had an awesome day. The entire department is doing the best as can be expected. Just wanted to give you the entire story straight from the horse!!

I have to say this is a Handler’s worst night mare.

Be safe my brothers,

Tommy"

Remember what Randy and his/my friends, friendenemies, acquaintances all do everyday.

Mink Blankets and Randy's & my first look @ Korea

So much stuff is going on! I couldn't even say it all and I talk 110 times faster than I type. First off I wanted to say HI to Kaitlyn and Olivia. I miss you love and I hope your dog doesn't eat any more of your cloths!

So we are pulling in today. As I stated before, you may recall, I am being forced to man the rails :( So I had a dress blues inspection today to make sure I looked good. As Brem was doing my neck tie and pinning on my ribbons she was like "You look so cute!! You look like a.." I was like Flight attendant. She was like yeah. haha Then I had to walk upstairs to show my petty officer and I was so scared Randy was going to see me all dressed up in my blues. So embarrassing. I will not post a picture because the only time you will ever see this girl in her dress blues is if you see my boot camp picture. Which I wish I could burn. Shreck status, no joke.

Randy and I had such a great morning. I always wake up early to eat breakfast with him before he goes to bed (he works nights remember) and I actually woke up brushed my teeth, washed my face, and did my hair and make-up so I looked half way decent rather than rolling out of my bed at five am and throwing my hair up. So we had a good breakfast, we both just ate a bowl of frosted flakes. Then we went outside to look at Korea. Randy said that his mom sent a new picture of the twins so I HAD to see it now. He got on his email and showed me. OMG most beautiful babies I have ever seen. Olivia was all cute with her little white lace thing in her hair and Jayden is getting bigger. They are some good looking babies! Makes me happy because that way I know when I have kids they'll be adorable. Not to mention my mom and dad STILL get hit on by my friends! haha... I got a hot mama! What can I say?

Everyone is leaving the boat tonight! :( I'll be all alone in the tower. Randy said there is an outback steak house. I told him not to eat there. I'm always telling that boy to "branch" out and try new things. He's so stuck to his ways...I know exactly what he would order at every single restaurant from McDonalds to Olive Garden. Chicken Alfredo...and every time after he orders the same thing for the 10 millionth time he always says, this is so good, but not near as good as my moms. Regardless...he will be bringing me a steak back from Outback. CANT EVEN HOLD A CANDLE NEXT TO MY DADDY's STEAK!! mmmm.

OMG I was sitting in the office talking to my master chief. We were talking about the famous Mink blankets that everyone always buys from Korea. I guess they're super expensive back in the states and they're only $80-$100 in Korea. Well DONT BE EXPECTING ONE FAMILY! My master chief told me they kill the poor little mink to make blankets. I dont even know what a mink is, or even if its little, but that's gay! I cant do that. Then he continues to inform me about his SEAR school. SEAR school is where they teach you how to survive if your ever captured in a foreign country and taken prisoner. They beat the crap out of you, starve you, deprive you of sleep the push you out of a helo and tell you to run for your life and not get captured. Of course its a simulation, so of course you get captured and they torture you and try to get info about you and your ship. So he is telling me about these bunnies. That they kill. To eat for survival. He said they wack them on the head and then cut them open. Then he says "Yeah Aker many a Bunny was sacrificed so I could get my qualification. It sucks when you get a pregnant bunny." OMG I wanted to kick his ass and cry for the dead baby bunnies all at the same time. You could picture my face. It was like this :0

It reminded me of when Randy and I did this community service thing and we were cleaning out a warehouse of food for the homeless and we found little mice. We caught them and I let them go. Then we sweeping up and see all these little pink wiggly things. They were baby mice! It was sad. Remember mom that's when I called you.

Tomorrow I'll let you know how Korea is. Two more days till Randy and I get to see some Korean FEEEEESSHH!! YAY!

Korea Tomorrow & Dr. Seuss

First off ITs KRISTEN'S BIRTHDAY WHEN WE PULL BACK IN!! So Kristen...what comes before part B? lol I saw your husband on the mess decks with Smitty. They're like inseparable. lol He's straight, right...lol JUST KIDDING. its kinda cute how they roll two deep everywhere they go. But I told him that I read about what he did for you with his "surprise and all. " I said it was so sweet. He misses you. I'm happy you two got service that one day! I WISH RANDY AND I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT OUR FAMILY PLAN SOONER. :(

Tomorrow we pull into Korea. I have to man the rails in my dress blues, the ones that look like flight attendant uniforms. I have duty tomorrow too but I'm not too upset about it because we are getting off the boat really late. Randy has duty the next day, I feel bad for him. I might just stay on the ship and sleep in and wake up and watch cartoons in my jammies while I eat some fruit loops! Livin' the dream (in a metal box) But then again its Korea...for the first time. I think I am going to sleep in till 4ish then go and hang out with Brem.

So every night before Randy goes to bed I sometimes call him and read him a bed-time story. I know it sounds really lame, but that Dr. Seuss just has a way with words. I was laying in my rack reading this book I found in the library called "Sleep Book" just cracking up laughing because its so funny. I looked so dumb laughing away by myself in my rack so I decided to share the smile. I called Randy and read him it, he said he liked when I read to him, so it just kind of became a thing. Anyways here's a couple... I hope they make you smile like they did for Randy and I.

A moose is asleep.
He is dreaming of moose drinks.
A goose is asleep.
He is dreaming of goose drinks.
That's all good and well when a moose dreams of moose juice.
And nothing goes wrong when a goose dreams of goose juice.
But it isn't too good when a moose and goose
Start dreaming they're drinking the other one's juice.
Moose juice, not goose juice, is juice for a moose.
And goose juice, not moose juice, is juice for a goose.
So, when goose get a mouthful of juices of moose's
And moose gets a mouthful of juices of goose's,
They always fall out of their beds screaming screams.
SO...
I'm warning you, now! Never drink in your dreams.

One more...
Now the news has arrived
From the Valley of Vail
That a Chippendale Mupp has just bitten his tail,
Which he does every night before shutting his eyes.
Such nipping sounds silly. But, really, it's wise.
He has no alarm clock. So this is the way
He makes sure that he'll wake at the right time of day.
His tail is so long, he wont feel any pain
'Til the nip makes the trip and gets to his brain.
In exactly eight hours, the Chippendale Mupp
Will, at last, feel the bite and yell "Ouch!" and wake up.
When I read Randy that one it was so cute, he was like "So he bites his take in order to wake up?" haha


Brem and I were are chow today and I was telling her how I am only going to speak to King Triton in Japanese, since he is a fish from Japan. She wanted me to tell everyone that she is going to be King Triton's Godmother. (after she clears it with Randy, of course.) See...this is what only a few days out to sea can do to you. This is how bored we all are. I try to find ways to be Randy's and Brems little ray of sunshine. :) The things I do to make him smile.

Anyways I AM SO EXCITED about this Pusan Aquarium. People are already talking about Guam too. Its going to be fun. I am already getting e-mails from people saying they got a hotel and have a car rental. I'm stoked. Only Guam is hot and sticky but at least I have a reason to wear my summer dress.

Hi to my poor daddy who couldn't get on the site. I don't know why Internet explorer wouldn't take it. Also I hope the Angles won against Boston!!! I'm watching Dallas play right now!! They're loosing too. Its a Britney Spears thing... you just have to see it through her darkest hours. Haha, I miss you dad!

Speaking of Britney Spears (as if anyone besides Mandy cares) her mom wrote a book. There was an article on her in People magazine last month. The title was "Every mother makes mistake" HA! wow understatement of the year! Its alright though I still love Britney and always will and I'm proud of Jaime-Lynne for keeping Maddie Brianne. Perez Hilton is proxied Mandy, so I know nothing that's going on.

Duty tomorrow...talk to you then<3
Huge HUG for mommy!! i love you
I'll leave you with one last little cute poem

The Champion
An ostrich who won every race
Wanted to make a change of pace.
He set his sights a little higher
And aspired to be a champion flyer.
Next morning, at five past ten,
The ostrich climbed a rock, and then
He streched his neck and spread his wings,
Poised to take off for greater things.
This should have been his finest hour.
Alas, he lacked the flying power.
He fell to earth and brok his neck.
He left this world a total wreck.
All in deepest mourning dressed,
They laid the champion to rest.
No eye was dry, no word was said.
Instead, his tombstone clearly read:
"Here all may see my body lie,
But not my soul, for that can fly."

The Lords Day

Happy Sunday Morning. So last night was so annoying. Two people in my division got caught having inappropriate relations. So all of V-0 was standing at attention in the P-way for about an hour. It sucked because I was suppose to go to dinner with Randy. He walked by a few times but of course I couldn't talk to him let alone act like we're together. After we got done getting screamed at, counseled and trained it was 1130 and Randy was already up on deck. So I didn't get to see him last night and I woke up this morning and had to go straight to work. So I didn't get to see him either this morning :( He called and said good night though so at least I got to talk with him before he went to bed.

I'm so glad its Sunday. No cleaning stations, but I'm sure they will find a way to get us to clean somehow. It's cold outside, I'm in the tower and that's just from looking out the window. I made everyone in the tower some nice hot chocolate, it tasted better because we all think its cold out. That's one thing I never got to experience being all cozy inside while its snowy outside. Its a merry feeling.

Christmas is right around the corner and I couldn't be more excited! I cant wait to spend another Christmas with Randy!!!!!! I'm not sure if we will be able to get a tree but I saved "our first Christmas" ordainments that we hung on the tree from last year, and I cant wait to hang them up for the second of many more Christmas's to come.

46 Days till we pull in to Yoko!
10 days till our One Year Anniversary

Bravo Zulu

In normal people language that doesn't mean anything but in the navy world its a good thing... and I got one, my very first. In the navy when people are mad at you and want to bring you down they give you counseling chits. The purpose isn't so much to literally "council" you but more of a written documentation to hold against you (say when it comes time for liberty;) and to have it on your records. But everyone in a while you might get a good counseling chit (Bravo Zulu) and I got one this morning. He was like Miss Aker read this and sign it. I was like "what did I do now?" But I read it and I was getting it for redoing the MWR binder. Which I don't mind because I love to be in charge of that kind of stuff.

MWR (Morale, Welfare and Recreation) is basically the fun stuff that goes on in the ship and on base, like all the snowboarding trips, paintball days and tours. Its fun and I like to do it. There is a person who is in charge of it but I think he just wants it for a collateral duty on his eval to make himself look better. So when I brought it up at muster and told people whats coming up next he was like I am the MWR Representative for the division. WHATEV!! I do it better, and people like me more!! You'll be over it soon.

So that was good, it almost made my day, but it didn't. What did is that Randy called me first thing this morning!! He was like come outside. He was outside my berthing and just wanted to say hi!! It was cute that I was the first thing he thought about! <3

Weather: Bright sunny beautiful and a little windy day. :)
Ship: We are defiantly heading somewhere... going fast.
Days Left till we pull into Korea:3
Days till Guam: 27 days
Days till we come home YOKOSUKA: 47 days and a wake-up!!
Days till our One Year Anniversary: 10 days!


No Victoria's Secret yet :(

*Attention* I am getting all four wisdom teeth pulled on the 14 :0

Flying and Musters

Hi, Back at it again. All the flying and musters! Thats pretty much all that is going on right now. We are pulling into Busan in five days and we are only getting two days of liberty. Randy and I got our tickets for the aquarium but i dont know if we will be able to go together because I think of the two days he has duty then I do then we leave. :(

I got your other package the day before we pulled out mom. I cant remember if I told you or not. But THANK YOU! It was the perfect time for white T-shirts, black socks and food. I havent got my Victoria's Secret stuff or Randy's Pac Sun stuff. :(

Well proxy is about to go up so I have to get going. We'll be home soon Kristen. Dont be sad!

King Triton and Sheldon

So as most of you know when we pull back into Yoko most of us are getting barracks rooms, I will be one of them!! I'm so excited because I can leave my stuff in the shower, sleep in a bed and most of all decorate. I can also have a pet now!!! So I have decided on getting a fish. I am going to name him King Triton. I might also get a tiny little baby swimming turtle and name him Sheldon but that's only if he can live at peace with The King. There is a fish store right next to the Daeai Mall and there are lots of gorgeous fish just waiting to be loved.

Everyone was like what are you going to do with them when you get underway? I said I am going to take them with me. Randy was like how are you going to get them on the ship. I am a naturally sneaky person, so I was thinking of putting Sheldon in my pocket and getting a clean cup from McDonald's and putting water in it and carrying King Triton on board. Randy said that Sheldon will dry up and die in my pocket :( and I'll forget that I have The King in my drink and I will drink all his water. I'm not worried about it. But I am excited to get stuff for my barracks room.

I am rooming with Brem and Busta. Which is good because I trust them and I have already been living with them for a year.

So today has been uneventful. I actually woke up to reveille this morning. Forgot where I was. I knew I was on the ship but the ship has just been moving so much. I was like are we in port Japan, San Diego, or out to sea. Really I never know where I am. You can only guess by the climate. When it get freezing outside I know that we are near Busan, and when it gets so hot that no one can keep their cloths on were defiantly near Guam.

We are pulling into Guam in about sixish days!! Randy and I are getting overnight liberty and we are going to stay in a hotel, and then we are going to see the aquarium. I'm stoked because Randy promised that we would be going to the zoo for our 4 month anniversary, (the Virginia Zoo) but that never happened, then he said we could go to the San Diego Zoo while we were there but that never happened either :( So this aquarium thing is going down. I am so upset that I don't have my camera to take pictures of it all. But don't worry I will borrow someones camera and take pictures of everything. How many times is one going to be in Korea, right? Well for me probably a lot over the next three years because that's where we go.

Its just been cleaning stations like every morning, then business finance class, and work. Back to the old grind.

So I am hearing that everyone is reading this. From my dad, mom, grandma grandpa, my grandpa's cousins, my aunts... (Thanks for the e-mail Christy) even Carrie!! I just want to say HI to everyone and I'm glad you enjoy it. Sorry there are no pictures right now but as soon as I can upload some you will be the first to see it all. Enjoy your land!! Don't take seeing the sun for granted! <3

Black Wednesday

I hate the day we pull out! Last night was horrible and today is horrible. Its rainy and gloomy outside right now. I am sitting in Primary just looking at all the blue shirts run around. Good-bye Mean Gene's double cheese burgers, Chu-hai's, cinnabon, and beef bowl. For the next two months I will eat horrible navy chow, loose mass amounts of sleep, wear the same thing everyday. Which is probably the second most depressing thing ever. When you wake up and say what do I want to wear today? Nasty coveralls, Cammi's, or utilities, SO much to choose from.

Most depressing of all is I will probably only see Randy twice a day at most. When I do its so sad because I have to act like we're not together. Even though (not know, Randy) everyone including both our divo's know that we have been together for ever. There is a very fine...pretty much invisible line that separates work life and real life. Living, eating and sleeping all where you work is awkward. Even though you are in you Victoria's Secret pink sweats and a HB Recreational center T-shirt you are still working and technically on the clock. So there's no escaping it.

My day will consist of being so bored on watch in Primary that I resort to trying all the condiments in the fridge, (try Budweiser's beach wood BBQ sauce, its so good i want to put it in my coffee) After I get off watch I will do some laundry, then try to do a little homework for my business finance class, and try to find Randy since the last time I saw him was at eight thirty last night :(

Enjoy your sugar free vanilla soy chai lattes family/friends/neighbors because I cant and wont for TWO MONTHS! lol But I will be in Busan, Korea in exactly two weeks. YES!

I love you guys... miss you.

Below is from another blog. How to make your family understand shipboard life. You might get a kick out of it, I did and i'm in the Navy... its all too true.

Speaking today on behalf of those that think that the Navy lives a "TOP GUN" existence. You know, those people that have watched one too many episodes of JAG, and think that Navy life is glamorous! Here are a few suggestions on how to experience the real Navy life, right in the comfort of your own home.

Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.
Run all of the piping and wires inside your house on the outside of the walls.
Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it out, clean up, and paint the basement "deck gray"
Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.
Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.
On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees.
On Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.
Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling.
Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout "Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up"
Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and read it to you.
Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock the bathroom door for 12 hours, and hang a sign on it that reads "Secured - contact OA DIV at X-3053"
Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's ok for you to leave your house before 3pm.
Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After the 6 months is up, take down the boards, and since you're on duty, wave at your friends and family through the front window of your home...you can't leave until the next day.
Shower with above-mentioned friends.
Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home(i.e. Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc.)
Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15 minutes.
Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly "lit off".
Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3 times a day, whether they need it or not.
Repaint your entire house once a month.
Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning you can get your hands on.
Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, randomly losing every 5th item.
Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN and the Weather Channel.
Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.
Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.
Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it "world travel"
Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonalds, and NOT get promoted.
Ensure that any promotions you do get are from stepping on the dead bodies of your co-workers.
Needle gun the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have gone to bed.
When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone, and shout at the top of your lungs that your home is under attack, and order them to man their battle stations.
Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your family that you are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for at least an hour, when they finally get to the kitchen, tell them that you are out of steak, but you have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they don't pay attention to the menu any more they just ask for hot dogs.
In the middle of January, place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have you family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.
Lock yourself and your family in your house for 6 weeks. Then tell them that at the end of the 6th week you're going to take them to Disneyland for "weekend liberty". When the end of the 6th week rolls around, inform them that Disneyland has been cancelled due to the fact that they need to get ready for E-cert, and that it will be another week before they can leave the house.Put your family through these, and then let them tell you how glamorous Navy life is.